Originally I had planned on doing another in my series “True Abductions” this week, until I received a phone call from the Landers, CA area that went something like this:


Good morning, Oracle Gazette

Angry Caller

I want to speak to that asshole, Harry Demon


Hold one please


This is Demon

Angry Caller

Mr. Demon, I have read your work for years and always believed you to be an extremely enlightened being. However, I read your article last week about nut jobs that claim to have been abducted by other-worlders against their wills and



Angry Caller

Yes, the people that come from other planets trying to help us earth bound souls progress both spiritually and scientifically.



Angry Caller

My group and I feel that you have been very offensive and somewhat an Earthist toward these beings and want an apology.


Ok, well miss ???

Caller (calming down)

You may call me Dian Ren, its my other-world name and means “person of light.”


Ok, Diane, why don’t we get together in the near future and discuss your position.


That would be wonderful. See I knew that if I just called you would understand and make everything right. Thank you Mr. Demon.


Ok Diane, give my assistant your contact information and I’ll get back with you in the next few weeks. 

So, I called a buddy of mine that did a TV show a few years ago which had all sorts of UFO related stories and asked him, “Chris, how many episodes of UFO abductee stories can be told while keeping the audience interested.”

After about half an hour of anal probes, mind melds, stolen sperm and eggs he came to the bottom-line: people will listen to about two and a half episodes of good aliens and about the same of bad.

With this information, I decided to put the word out that I was again looking for interesting people with unique stories.

I hope to have something with meat to write about next week …assuming I haven’t pissed off the wrong Other-worlders and am instead having my anus probed.

As Always,

Stay away from the light.

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